So, you want to get into meditation. Awesome! The bold among you might be inclined to just dive right in using one of our guided meditations, or a popular app like Headspace or Calm, or just strike out on your own. But, if you’re like me, you might like to do a little prep work. You might want to have an idea of how to structure this kind of thing in order to give yourself the best chance of success. That’s what this article is all about. How can you best set up your own meditation practice? The answer will, of course, depend on you and your own lifestyle and personal preferences. Yet there are still going to be common best practices we can help you identify, and common pitfalls that we can help you avoid.
In the big five W questions, I think we can presume that the Who is you, and the Why is that you want to improve your life in some way. So let’s get into the What, Where, and When of your meditation practice:
- What will your meditation be? A video here on Stillside? A guided audio meditation? A self-directed meditation in your own head? All are good options, and we will explore the pros and cons of each.
- Where are you going to meditate? By this we mean both the macro (environment) and the micro (your chair).
- When are you going to meditate? This is somewhat straightforward, but with more nuance than you’d think. What time of day, how long will you meditate, when will it fit within the structure of your day, etc.?
So let’s get started!
What? Guided vs. Unguided
As we’ve talked about previously, the meditations on Stillside are generally based on Mindfulness Meditation (MM) techniques and/or Dialectical Behavior Therapy. That is the type of meditation that we recommend to people of all types, no matter what brings you to the chair. However, within the universe of MM, there are lots of different techniques, and lots of different ways to go about meditating. Broadly speaking, you can either listen to a guided meditation, or just come up with a meditation on your own and do it inside your own head. Both approaches have merits and drawbacks, and neither is more valid than the other.
Generally, newcomers to meditation can find it helpful to listen to a guided meditation in order to have a sense of the rhythm, structure, and content of the meditation. For that reason, we are in the process of building a library of guided meditations right here on Stillside to give you that kind of easy resource. And like all of our articles and content, they will be completely free to access, and completely ad-free, forever. The drawback of a guided meditation, generally speaking, is its inherent inflexibility. It is prerecorded, and therefore it’s only going to deliver exactly what it is. If you wanted to spend an extra few minutes on a particular technique, you could perhaps rewind, or revisit after the meditation ends, but it will never be as easy as if you were meditating without a guide. To give you a sense of a guided meditation, as well as offer beginners the easiest possible way to dip their toes into the water, here is our first guided meditation, a snappy four-minute number designed to introduce you to the concept:
Unguided meditations, on the other hand, are entirely up to you in terms of their form and content. Personally, I do unguided meditations almost exclusively, and have a semi-regular structure that I typically use. For me, that structure involves an opening exercise of mindfulness breathing, optionally followed by an emotion exposure exercise, then typically concluded with a cue-controlled relaxation exercise. If none of that makes sense, don’t worry, we will explain it all more thoroughly in some upcoming guided meditations/articles. I particularly like unguided meditations specifically because I can structure them for whatever I think is the most helpful at the time, or whatever I want to work on at the moment. The drawback of this method, of course, is that it requires more effort and discipline to execute; there’s no voice in your ear helping pull you back on track if you get distracted, and nothing to help you decide where the meditation goes. Its very strength can also be a weakness, depending on you. If, at any point in your practice, you have the urge to build your own meditations, I really recommend picking up the DBT Skills Workbook, which offers a panoply of excellent techniques and does a great job of describing what each of them is meant to help you do better.
So that’s guided versus unguided. But it bears repeating that neither method is superior to the other. So don’t stress about it! If you just want to get started and need a little hand-holding, then fire up a guided meditation from Stillside or another app like Headspace or Calm, and you’re off to the races. Meditation bears fruit for the practitioner regardless of who is speaking/leading the meditation itself.
Where? Environment and Seating
When you want to meditate, really anywhere can work. I’ve done meditations sitting in the airport waiting for a plane to board, and in corporate offices waiting for a meeting to start. Meditation is flexible that way! However, those kinds of impromptu settings are generally when I’m doing some kind of impromptu or “bonus” meditation session, either just because I have the time and want to, or because I feel the need for a little extra stress reduction. That’s not the norm.
What I really want to talk about in this segment is the kind of environment and seating you use at your home base – the place where you plan to make a habit of meditating on a daily basis. You want to create an ideal environment wherein meditation becomes a habit, something almost reflexive, which you can then take to the unfamiliar environments and uncomfortable seats out there in the world for your own “bonus” sessions. As mentioned, we are going to break this into two components: the macro of your overall environment, and the micro of your actual seat and posture.
First up, environment. And again, almost anywhere can work just fine. What matters is that you choose a place that is going to be reliably quiet, or that can be made to be reliably quiet through the use of ear plugs, headphones, etc. You want somewhere without any extreme temperatures or other distracting attributes. And you want somewhere that, as mentioned above, can be your “home base” – somewhere you can return again and again for this specific activity. For me, I usually choose a small nook in my home’s master bedroom; it’s a room that is used for little else, so when I go there and sit in my chair, my mind and body reflexively know that it’s time to meditate. And that’s our goal: create a habit of mind and body.
Drilling down just a bit further, we get to the seat itself. Of course this is near and dear to us at Stillside. We care about this so much that our entire company is built around the idea of a better meditation chair. And while the pattern above holds true – that anything can work – it’s also true that not all chairs are created equal. Your ultimate goal is to find a seat in which you can sit comfortably, without fidgeting or adjusting your posture, for 10-20 minutes at a time. In our opinion, the cross-legged “lotus” posture is ideal. Crossed legs are not the typical seating posture for most activities, so making a habit of using this posture during meditation can help train your brain to associate the posture with meditation. Just as my brain instinctively goes into “meditation mode” when I sit in my special chair in my master bedroom meditation nook, the same is true about the lotus posture for me. If I’m out and about elsewhere, but I find a comfy couch to meditate, the instant I get in the right posture I just feel a wave of relaxation pour over me. That’s the power of meditation when developed into a habit and a consistent practice.
Prior to developing my own chair, I would often sit on extra-deep sofa seats, then prop my knees up with pillows beneath them, then try to scooch my back and knees and pillows backward so that I could get the full support of the sofa’s backrest. And although that can work modestly well, it’s just not ideal. Plus the slightest movement can make things fall out of adjustment, and then I was back fussing with pillows again. Plus the level of cushion in most sofas is so soft that it’s difficult to maintain an upright posture without, you guessed it, more pillows and more fussing.
And so while we are of course biased here at Stillside, we do truly believe that the Om Chair is the best thing going in the world of meditation furniture. In fact, it’s the only chair on the planet to do what it does: its curved seating geometry offers complete support for a cross-legged seating position, enough depth to keep your entire leg on the chair, and a solid backrest so that you can just relax into the posture without any discomfort whatsoever. Basically, it solves all the problems I just identified above, and looks beautiful while doing so.
When? Timing, Duration, Daily Structure
Just like brushing your teeth or taking a shower, the practice of meditation should essentially be a ritual, part of your daily hygiene. But instead of cleaning your teeth or your hair, you’re basically washing out your brain. Instead of protecting you from plaque or dandruff, you’re developing protection from stress, anxiety, sadness, and depression. After a few months of daily practice, it will probably feel just like any other hygiene habit: something you want to do because it makes you feel refreshed. And just as forgetting to brush your teeth can leave your mouth feeling dirty, skipping meditation will leave your mind feeling like it needs a bit of a wash.
So, when should you set up your brain bath? It can really be any time that works for you, but we recommend that you try to aim for the same time every day. Just as with the other segments, we’re looking to create consistency, create a habit, and make it easier for you to lock everything in. Maybe meditate right after (or right before) you shower and get dressed for the day. Or alternatively just before (or just after) you put on your pajamas at night. But a word to the wise, if you attempt a nighttime routine, you might end up getting really sleepy, or even nodding off, which isn’t ideal. Meditation can certainly help with sleeplessness, but if you want to experience any of the other benefits of meditation, you will want to keep an active and alert state of mind while you meditate, without falling asleep.
So if you find yourself constantly nodding off during your meditations, you might want to move the time of day you practice. If you were meditating late at night or right before bed, it’s understandable that you’re falling asleep. Maybe shift your meditation backwards by an hour, or even move to the other side of the day entirely. An early meditation after a cup of coffee can be an amazing way to begin the morning, and set you up for a successful day. But whatever you choose, just try to make it consistent from day to day.
Conclusion You’ve Got This!
First of all, if you read this far, thank you! I know this is a lot of text to digest, and we hope you found it useful. As we have mentioned all over this article, our goal here is to help make a habit, such that meditation becomes as easy as brushing your teeth, and just as regular an occurrence. Once you have established a consistent workable time, place, and method to meditate, don’t worry about everything being “perfect” every time. If you just get sleepy during meditation, but it’s only occasionally, don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s okay! If your mind wanders a bit, or you find yourself fidgeting because your chair isn’t ideal, it’s okay! One of the most important things to remember about meditation is that you should NOT be judging yourself. If you’re even trying to meditate, then you are indeed meditating, and you’re doing great! Just attempting is enough, and means that you’re going to improve. So be kind to yourself. Check back in the Stillside Blog as we continue to add more guided meditations and general information. And if you think you’re ready for that Om Chair, head to the Stillside Store and snag one for yourself. Thanks for reading!